to auto-pilot or to re-boot?

I'll admit it.  I'll totally admit that throughout my entire existence, I have someone managed to shuffle along the paths and bobbed together with the waves.  Not that it was particularly easy, but things did just kinda fall into place one by one for me.  Just when no one believed that I'd get the scholarship to study in Singapore, I was suddenly on my way there.  Just when I think I had failed my public exam, I actually got straight As.  Just when I thought SAT was really impossible, I did much better than I had expected.  Just when I was doomed to fail Honors Calc because I was bottom of the class during the midterms, I bounced back with a B+.  Just when I lost my first elections, I won the next. Just when plans for summer internship were going downhill, I got an internship with Abbott.  Just when all job interviews had not worked out, I got into McKinsey.

And frankly, as I reflect back on my life while writing this, I'm terribly conflicted on what I'm feeling right now.  Have I really achieved all these, or have I really been handed all these things and have just been moving along conveniently?  What is the one extraordinarily cool thing that I've done?  None?

Yes, I'm leaving McKinsey in a few weeks.  Yes, I'm moving onto the next phase in life, whatever that means.  And in one night, over a dinner, I had gone from being pretty damn sure what I wanted to do for the next year because the opportunities were sitting there ripe and ready to be picked to being completely lost and miserable because what if I was just shuffling along yet again?  What if I'm just on auto-pilot?  What if I always end up taking the traveled path?  But why not?  I don't even know why my face is wet right now.

Here's when a dash of good 'ole American ego-boosting confidence would really come in handy =(